So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means. It’s not the end of the world.

 

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

 

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity……. It’s impossible to put down!

 

What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

1forrest1

 

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh

 

Why don’t blind people skydive?
…
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.

 

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Dishes!
Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery

 

A friend went to the doctor and was given 2 months to live.
So he shot the doctor.
The judge gave him 30 years.