Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, “Ethel, you know that I’d love to go for a ride in that helicopter.” But Ethel would always reply, “I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.” Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, “Ethel, you know I’m 87 years old now. If I … Read More
A new father is sitting down with his father for a drink. His dad tells him, “Now that you’re a father yourself it’s time I give you something.” He replies, “Dad, you’re not talking about-.” His father interrupts, “Yes. It’s time.” With this he hands him a copy of ‘1000 Dad Jokes, 6th Edition’ to his son. He says with a tear in his eye, “Dad, I’m honored.” “Hi honored,” his father replies, “I’m dad.”
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit the hotel bar. Upon arriving to the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed “Wow these mugs are big!” … Read More
A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber. The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, “How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck.” But he pays it anyways. The plumber tells him, “Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make … Read More
Benny decided to buy a present for his Uncle Sam’s birthday, so with his older brother’s help he bought a present, gift wrapped it, and brought it over to his uncle. His uncle, knowing that Benny’s father manufactured apple juice, and seeing a wet spot on the bottom corner of the box, decided to have some fun with Benny by trying to guess what was in the box. “Hmm” said Uncle Sam, dipping his finger on … Read More
