Q. What’s a sheep’s favorite Christmas song? A. “Fleece Navidad”! Q: What are the best books to read during the holidays? A: The Lord of the Five Golden Rings, No Country for Old Menorahs, For Whom the Jingle Bells Tolls, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secret Santas, Frankincense and Sensibility Q: Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart? A: Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it … Read More
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom … Read More
An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than … Read More
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!”
Here are a few Thanksgiving related jokes for Today: Q. If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on? A. Scholar ships. Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted? A: Boy! I’m stuffed! Q: Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”? A: Because they never learned good table manners! Q: What was the turkey suspected of? A: Fowl play. Q: What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? A: Your … Read More
