My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in my kitchen. The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale. It’s a pooper-scooper.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office … Read More
A cops calls for backup from a crime scene: This is officer John, please send backup, a woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean. Have you arrested the woman? No Sir, the floor is still wet.
A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”
A cop pulls over his pastor when he notices him swerving… As the officer approaches the window he notices a bottle in a brown bag on the seat. Officer says, “brother, I pulled you over for swerving back there. You haven’t been drinking have you?” “No sir, why would you ask that?” “Well I noticed the bottle on the seat next to you.” “Oh, that’s just holy water.” “OK brother. So why is it in a … Read More