A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog.” “But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked. “I have a very keen … Read More
My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in my kitchen. The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale. It’s a pooper-scooper.
Me: How many loads of laundry do you think this will handle? Saleswoman: Sir, this is a dining room table Me: and? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Interviewer: What would you say is one of your strengths? Me: ummm…I’m super fast at math Interviewer: Oh really? What is 32 x27 Me (immediately): 134 Interviewer: That’s not even close Me: I said I was super fast, not accurate ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stuntman on TV: Don’t try this at home Me (on … Read More