Deuteronomy 34 (KJV)
34 And Moses went up from the plains of Moab unto the mountain of Nebo, to the top of Pisgah, that is over against Jericho. And the Lord shewed him all the land of Gilead, unto Dan,
2 And all Naphtali, and the land of Ephraim, and Manasseh, and all the land of Judah, unto the utmost sea,
3 And the south, and the plain of the valley of Jericho, the city of palm trees, unto Zoar.
4 And the Lord said unto him, This is the land which I sware unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, saying, I will give it unto thy seed: I have caused thee to see it with thine eyes, but thou shalt not go over thither.
5 So Moses the servant of the Lord died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the Lord.
6 And he buried him in a valley in the land of Moab, over against Bethpeor: but no man knoweth of his sepulchre unto this day.
I read this scripture and I could not figure out why this weighed so heavily on my mind. Moses was a great man that actually conversed with God and performed great miracles to the Pharaoh of Egypt. Moses then led his people out of Egypt and crossed a dry channel in the Red Sea. Moses carried out God’s commandments and wisdom relayed them to the Israelites as instruction for them to follow as they wondered in the wilderness. The people, Moses and Aaron did show their unfaithfulness to God at Meribah and from that time on God decided that no one would enter the Promised Land. So everyone that escaped from Egypt including Moses and Aaron died in the wilderness never entering the land of milk and honey.
Today I realized why this scripture weighed so heavily on me. I take care of my parents especially my mom who is bed bound from Parkinson’s disease and my Dad’s slow but deteriorating heart failure. In the last 2 months my dad’s heart failure has worsened and to complicate things even more so his cancer has returned. Newer and more advanced chemotherapy is out of the question since my dad’s cardiac ejection is at 15%. The oncologist is waiting to see if a tumor appears on his scans to see if radiation therapy could possibly help. I understand but I am not too keen on that but okay.
I know a lot of my facebook friends and high school classmates have suffered the loss of their family members and parents but now it will be my turn to watch my dad pass away. I can’t help but feel that reading about Moses passing signals my dad’s own inevitable demise…I don’t know. I know it will not be easy but I know God will help me through that difficult time as God does with all people. Will I be ready for that difficult time…no. Will God be there to help me…yes.